Pic Source: www.dreamspear.co.uk
While doing MBA, we used to learn about 80-20 pareto method. The method when applied in projects or other activities says that 80% results or impact for achieving a project or an activity come from 20% efforts. The leaders focus, track and monitor this 20% part of the project. Rest is managed by the next brigade.
A week ago, I was sitting in café and heard the talk of the neighbor on other table.
Hard skills = 20% contribution in life
Soft skills = 80% contribution in life.
Elaborate more was the wide eyed opened listener's query.
Hard skills are the qualifications and ranks a person gets from school/college/universities or institutes. They make the arrogant, haughty, introvert and fit for comparison. The person boasts and brags of degrees and institutes where as this does not pay after a period of time.
About 60 in total and include acceptance of the world as real and taming, trimming self thinking to match the occasion and the need of the person, places, people, institutions. It includes, talking low, slow, short taking into account the age, relation and occasion. It also includes your role in family, work place or job. A manager cannot be impatient in talks like an office boy.
What you eat determines the volume of your voice. Heavy , fried and over cooked foods and hot drinks cause loudness in talks. Fruit, juice, vegetables, almonds and nuts enable the body to be more healthy and the behavior of the person improves.
CCT Conscious Control of Tongue pays a lot in achieving 80%.
20% is helpful in career and is relevant for the job and the little community known.
80% is helpful in happiness, relation building, networking, inner peace and frictionless self-development. Networking - local, national and international - help in boosting the relationships for every kind of assistance during bad times.
The listener could not understand well and asked: Cite an example. I could not understand your philosophical talk.
Ok: In a family, father is less educated and worked hard to feed and pay the fee of the children. Mother, though illiterate, cooked food, washed clothes and took care of kids when they were ill and could not take care of themselves. With the fees of father's money and mother's help, the children got good education. Became aware about the physical world but could not develop their sense of metaphysical world which is inner-self.
Now the children are young and educated, parents are old and needy. Energy level is drained. Their response time to tackle the problems or replying to the queries of children has gone down. Children don't like this. They shout and react to the extent that the parents feel troubled. Yes mere presence for long time becomes a source of annoyance. Father and mother living at the same place and meeting the children right from birth cause inbuilt mental deafness for any kind of advice or
Children treat them as if they have the same energy and expect that the parents should act and behave as they wish rather than being thankful to the parents who sacrificed their youth, wants and invested their energy and time on them.
When I was young I wished to change the world. My age was about 17-18. But now at 50+ I have come to know that creating mental friction for the real world or others is useless. But now I have learnt, if I wish to be happy, I need to manage my mind. Now I focus more on my thoughts, track them. I found a wonderful method: I say I forgive you and name the person: Wonder: I sleep well. No thought of hate or love for a particular person jump into my mind.
I don't do because the people I love or I hate deserve my mercy but I deserve mental peace. I kept on torturing myself for about 50 years for imaginary presumptive reasons. Now I am in command of my mind. Now I know what I want in life and my direction is right and destination is visible. Earlier, I was commanded by others as I was hurt deeply by the words of others. Now I ignore by mentally saying. No you cannot disturb my mental peace. I am the master of my life. Now I trust the words of Henry David Thoreau
Changing food has also helped a lot. I take fruits, boiled vegetables, sprouted beans. I avoid gossip and irrelevant thinking and toxic people.
Now I talk more in mind. No bad words come out of lips. Only good words for others come. This is building my relations. I am now more cooperative, level of acceptance rather than arrogance has increased. Body language too works for others. Behaviour is changing. It is all paying in making my life happy. I feel inner peace. Sleep well.
This switching from "I": am more important to "You" are more important and becoming nice to others, talking sweet, controlling tongue i.e. stopping and not advancing arguments is helping me to be happy. Happiness is an inner task. Self effort. Nobody else is responsible. I love living with people with whom I feel good.
Age group too matters. People of your own age group make you more happy as they talk and behave like you.
Emotional intelligence is one component of 80%. 80% never changes. 20% keeps changing with the passage. Parents loved their kids in Stone Age and love them too in this Computer Age. Mother's parents, brothers, sisters and father's parents, brothers, sisters and cousins remain permanent in life. No way to annoy or leave them. Just accepting them as they are is the way to happiness or face their wrath.
All talk rough but do help in need. Talk cannot be as good as the dialogue of films or TV serials.
But MBA and B.Tech were not available in Stone Age.
80% enables you to be happy and comfortable with everyone and everywhere. Whereas 20% enables you to go up and higher in your career.
Right I understand why am I that much troubled internally. I will be focusing on 80% now to make my life better and better.