Self Learning

EFFORTS NOT
RESULTS ARE PAID


DO WHAT IS RIGHT ...............

NOT


WHAT IS EASY 

Learning

Learning from 1st Class student

 

In my neighbor, elder sister came from school. Took off the clothes, took off the shoes and threw them on the bed.

Young mother felt annoyed. Heated arguments followed by a slap to the girl ensued.

As a lost resort to mend the ways of child's behavior and cultivate good habit of keeping the clothes in the cupboard on coming from school, mother invited an elderly lady from the neighbor.

Elderly lady, being the judge between mother and the daughter, started asking:

"Dear child, are you a good child or bad child."

"I am a good child," replied the child standing before the elderly lady as if answering to an advocate in a court.

"What are the symptoms of a good child" was the next question parried by the elderly lady.

"Good child comes from the school in time, takes off the shoes, takes off the clothes. Places the clothes inside the cupboard and does not make mess of clothes throwing them on the bed."

"Are you clothes at the proper place?"

"No grandma. They are not. I am sorry."

 

In between the young sister studying in 1st class jumped and said "Amma she knows what is good and thought is in the head. It will take sometime to be reality."

I was surprised to hear this reply from a student of 1st class.

and learnt a lesson. DO IT NOW.

 

Many elders spend the entire life saying "I think I can" but "Never have time to enjoy what they wish or do what they like."

 

FEAR has two meanings:

1. Fear everything and run. Makes person worried, unhappy, sad and keeps the worrier on toes.

2. Face everything and rise. Makes person worry free, happy and cheerful.

BIGGEST HURDLE IN ENJOYMENT: Opinion about me by others. How the others think about me. It is expression vs. impression problem. More mental than real. More we keep on coining mental view of the situations, more the worry, anxiety increases and turns out in real in the form of anger. Anger is one letter short of danger. D=death.

Focus and enjoy what you have. Rather than focusing on what you don't have and be unhappy.

World remembers those who live for their dreams. Self belief is the best belief. Don't indulge in proving to others. Be yourself and you will grow a lot in every term. Be it happiness or prosperity. Love what you do or do what you love. It will make you more happy.

Accept yourself in absolute totality, says Osho.

 

TRUE EDUCATION

True Education   by Prof. P.K.Keshap

in Business / Entrepreneurship    (submitted 2011-07-03)

Bring light to the poor; and bring more light to the rich, for they require it more than the poor. Bring light to the ignorant, and more light to the educated, for the vanities of the education of our time are tremendous.

Education is the manifestation of perfection already in man.

Education is not the amount of information that is put into your brain and runs rot there, undigested, all your life. We must have life-building, man-making, character making assimilation of ideas. If you have assimilated five ideas and made them your life and character, you have more education than any man who has got by heart a whole library.

We want that education by which character is formed, strength of the mind is increased, the intellect is expanded, and by which one can stand on one's own feet.

To me the very essence of education is CONCENTRATION OF MIND, not the collecting of facts. If I had to do my education over again, and had any voice in the matter, I would not study facts at all. I would develop the power of concentration and detachment, and then with a PERFECT instrument I could collect facts at will.

Concentration is the essence of all knowledge. Nothing can be done without IT. 90% of the thought force is wasted by the ordinary human being, and therefore he is constantly committing blunders; the trained man or mind never makes a mistake. The thoughts have been given by great Swami Vivekananda who Mr. Rockfeller - business doyen of America once asked "what is God" and he answered "Man is God. Serve man and you will serve God." This prompted Mr. Rockfeller to finance the project of Dr. Baurlog - the Noble Prize Winner to conduct experiments in Africa and make the land fertile so that human beings may get grains grown and food may become available to them.

The entrepreneurs need the kind of the education as visualized by Swami Vivekananda and develop an empathy for living human beings as displayed by Mr. Rockfeller- the great American Entrepreneur. Developing this kind of personal traits is the self-responsibility of the entrepreneur.

ETYMOLOGICAL MEANING: -- Latin Origin
a) Educare- to nourish b) Educure- to lead forth c) Educatum- act of teaching
Sanskrit Origin- a) Skis shah:- To discipline
b) Vidhya :- • vidh• • To know
What is not education?
1) Becoming only literate is not education.
2) Getting a degree is not education.
3) Gaining knowledge.
4) Learning new skills.

About the Author

Founder Director: Institute for Personality Development, 165/64-J, Bhai Randhir Singh Nagar, Ludhiana(India), Phone: 0161-2455560 Branch Office: "Knowledge Park", STEP, Govt. of India, G.N.E, Backside Nanankana Sahib Public School, Gill Road, Ludhiana

We make you WINNERS.
http://positivepesonality.blogspot.com

Prof. P.K.Keshap

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CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

SMART STRATEGY

LEARN TO STOMACH CRITICISM

                        Ragini Gulati

Criticism or negative feedback is an inevitable part of our professional as well as personal life.  

All of us loathe being made aware of our shortcomings or told that we are doing something wrong.

Responding to criticism without careful consideration often leads to unnecessary suffering and frustration.

Since we have  to face criticism at various stages, learning how to handle it effectively is very essential. Here below are a few tips to handle criticism objectively at workplace:

Don’t let emotions take over. Although easier said than done, it is essential to keep one’s feelings under control while dealing with harsh criticism. The more emotional we get, more limited our thinking and questionable our reactions become. When you receive criticism try to listen carefully to what is said without getting emotional or responding defensively.

Make an attempt to focus on the facts rather than the feelings that are evoked on an evolution of your performance.

Instead of getting upset stay analytical to avoid missing out on critical points and repeating the same mistakes.

Most critics will take it positively and appreciate that at least their comments are being heard. It will shorten the discussion which otherwise could drag forever and take all possible directions.

Ignore false criticism

Prior to reacting or taking any step one must differentiate between positive and negative criticism. More than often people criticize others simply because they have nothing better to do with their time.

Such criticism is not only unjustified and baseless but also useless to the recipient. The best option to deal with negative criticism is to remain aloof and completely ignore.

By remaining silent and detached the efforts of the critic will go in vain, dissuading him or her from being vindictive in future.

On the other hand, positive criticism is the one in which individual explain their point of view and actually want to see an improvement. Consider the feedback objectively, taking it as an opportunity to improve and grow.

Get concrete details

Criticism is futile unless there is exchange of information on the changes that need to be brought about. Whenever you are criticized, make sure that you are aware of what exactly needs to be corrected. Ask the critic questions on how you could have done things differently and better. 

Try to get practical and concrete details about what went wrong so as to resolve the criticism amiably. In fact, if possible request the critic to put the recommendations in writing since verbal criticism is often full of holes and poorly thought out.

By opening channels, a potential conflict can be turned into a valuable relationship.

Learn

Listening to something does not help unless we are willing to accept and eventually act upon it. Take criticism as a challenge and a chance to change your way, adjust your communication and become stronger as a professional.

Allow yourself to learn from such responses by identifying your strong and weak points.

Unfortunately, majority of people have negative connotations about the word, “criticism” and choose to ignore it.

They fail to realize someone else could have better suggestions and that they cannot be always right.

However, by doing so they lose the opportunity to learn and grow in their professional lives. Moreover, one must remember that most criticism is based, at least in part, on some truth.

Let go

Althogh it may be difficult to shake off criticism one must realize that obsessing over it will not help. Criticism should not be allowed to lower your self-esteem or slow down the pace of work.

Rather than taking it to heart make amends, learn from the mistake and stride forward. Continue striving for your goals, with full dedication and persistence, to achieve to what you set out to do.

Most importantly, never let criticism decide what you want to do next, or give up something completely.

Don’t hold grudges

Since criticism points out our limitations it is not only makes us feel vulnerable but also defensive towards the critic. However, we should not forget that the supervisor or colleague is just doing their job and there is no personal enmity involved.

As a consequence, instead of sulking or blaming the critic accept the criticism with grace and excellence.

IN FACT, thank the person for the feedback and make him realize that you consider his view point valuable.

HOLDING grudges for criticism negatively impacts the relationship with the individual both professionally and personally.

            

             

Source: Jobs and Careers, The Tribune, December 21, 2011

Work and Life Balance

Subodh was married to a beautiful dame from the countryside. His dame needed more time than he could devote. His performance and productivity as well as quality of decisions at work was going down and down. His partner was whining all the time for Subodh’s declining level of concentration at work. Neither wife nor partner was happy or satisfied. Subodh was at wits’ end.


All this was telling upon his health. Wife always found that Subodh remained busy in his work and not attention was paid to maintain relatives. Relatives too complained and remarked bitingly “All marry but they don’t ignore the relatives.” Wife wished that all family functions and marriages in the relations must be attended. She also wished that Subodh should sit and talk with her for hours. Subodh should have time to go to Cinema. All these were not being handled by Subodh comfortably. His health deteriorated and his behaviour became irritable.

For wife, it was another problem. Every body in the family was worried. Parents thought some super natural problem was there. They secretly started consulting “Babas” for finding a remedy to Subhodh’s problem. They were of the opinion some “bad soul” has affected their son. But wife was educated and did not believe much in this kind of “faith” or “faith healing”. Out of respect for elders, she used to company her parents-in-law. Many efforts by these “Babas” failed to bring Subodh to his normal behaviour.

As the time passed, the problem persisted and mental peace of the family members also flew. All – Subodh’s parents’-in-law, parents, brother and sister-in-law all were worried. Worry could be judged by just looking at their faces and their reactions to the situations in daily life.

Time passed and Subodh was blessed with a son. Another bond. Subodh was overburden.
He was unable to meet the continuous nagging by his wife for lack of time for her and her son. Subodh was finding himself torn in performing 3 dutites – one at work, 2nd handling wife and third keeping pace with time demands by elderly parents.

One day, he came across a business mentor. After attending the seminar, when he was having a cup of tea with the mentor, he reluctantly opened his heart to the mentor. Her eyes full of tears were telling more than words. Mentor, seasoned and matured person, advised: keep 11 months for work and full one month for home.

Subodh came home and asked his wife to come and sit with him. After settling down properly and making the wife ready to listen, he disclosed in a very polite way. “Today I met a very intelligent, mature and saint like person who had come to give a talk in the seminar.” Wife was listening with an awe. “I told him my problem of time. I told him that I wish to devote time to my family, but my work engagements do not allow me to do so. If I devote time to family, then work suffers and if I devote my time to work, then family suffers. What should I do sir?” Further Subodh confessed, “Very politely that gentleman told me. Your problem is a problem of life and work balancing. This problem is not only with you but with most of the people. You are over stressed between two lives. When you are in the office, you think about the family and when you are at home, you think about your work. Isn’t it?” “Yes, yes, sir” I answered to the mentor. “Sir how can I over come this situation?”

“Very simple.” 1. Be proactive. Using “Things To Do sheet” and planning for the next day at last night i.e. before the working day, you will become proactive.”
2. Work for 11 months and enjoy full 1 month.

“So, my dear, lovely wife, let’s decide from today that for 11 months you will not ask me anything and I will work only. And on 12th month, I will not ask and not go to work and will enjoy fully with you and son and family. No questions. Agree.”

After sometime, the wife nodded affirmatively i.e. yes. Now everyday nagging by wife was replaced with a smile in the hope that my husband will be free in 12th month of the year.

Every family function was attended with great fervour. No regrets, no complain. Always enthusiast wife, ready son and happy parents went and enjoyed the functions in the family circle.

11 months went by. 12th month came. Without anybody’s asking, a week prior to starting of 12 month, Subodh planned for family’s outing on a hill station. For a week, they stayed at the hill station, did hiking, tracking, enjoyed boating and river rafting. After a week when they came back, he had another plan. He and his wife joined a one week dancing classes. They learnt dancing together. Another plan, music and singing plus painting classes. All this made wife so happy that she does not speak a single word and waits patiently for this 12 months.
During the past 4 years, they have visited many hill stations and have known new people and new culture.

His wife one day came and told that she is planning to start Free classes for slum dwellers in teaching dancing and painting. Life is now has a purpose and meaning for the grumbling couple. Their son likes to live with grandparents. Grand parents for him are God. They love, laugh and always take care of him. Grandfather is always seen walking with the grandson. Grandson holding his grandfather’s finger feels as if he is fully safe and secure and nothing can happen to him.

Everyday, while praying to God for grace, Subhod thanks his mentor who with his guidance changed his dull life into really meaningful one.


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