Communication-I

COMMUNICATION

Before we discuss communication, let’s understand the difference between speaking and communicating.

Dalai Lama has well said: When a person speaks, he is speaking his/her mind and same information is repeated time and again. But when listening is practiced, new knowledge, new information is gained.

In speaking we tell our mind and listening we try to gain what the speaker wants to convey. Confusion, aggression, arrogance, arguments are the major drawbacks of speaking.

There is never a generation gap. There is always a communication gap.

Communication involves 6 steps to complete a communication in its entirety.

1.   Sender- the person who has an idea or wants to convey.

2.   Coding- giving a shape to the idea or the information.

3.   Medium- Use of medium for transmitting the idea i.e. words, phone, letter, fax, email, pager or pigeons, drums etc.

4.   Receiver- the person who receives the idea, instructions or communication.

5.   Decoding—Interpretation of the idea, instructions or communication. 

6.   Action/Feedback/Storage- Action taken. Action taken can be feedback, real action taken or the storage of the message conveyed like the speech by Prime Minister or President of India.

Example: I need a cup of tea. Idea comes to the mind. Now how the process of communication starts.

I= Sender of the message.

     Feeling of having a cup of tea is “idea”

“Madam, please make a cup of tea and give it to me.”  Coding of the feeling.

Spoken words have been used and hence that is medium. I can also use phone or non-verbal communication by just a sign with fingers that I need a cup of tea.

Madam hears the message. She is the receiver.

She listens to my instruction/request. After some time she says: Wait for 5 minutes. This is decoding.

After 5 minutes, she comes and hands over the cup of tea. This is action.

Communication is complete.

But after 5 minutes, she comes and says: No. No tea can be made as there is no sugar in the bowl. This is feedback.

Communication is incomplete as the action is incomplete.   I will go and buy sugar and after buying sugar I will come back and then a cup of tea will be made.

Another example from Business:

 

Decoding

Receiver

Medium

Coding

Sender

BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION:  Major barriers to communication.

-Physical Barriers

-Age Barriers

-Education Barriers

- Cultural differences.

- Gender differences.

- Ethnic differences

- Health

- Medium

etc

NOBODY CARES HOW MUCH YOU KNOW

UNTIL HE KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU CARE.

Small minds talk about people.      (An island)

Average minds talk about events   (A sea)

Big minds talk about ideas.            (An ocean)

Ideas benefit the world i.e. humanity and the creation at large.

Journey from Small to Big is a self-journey where wh-family(what, why, where, who, when) questions are answered by the self not by others.

This journey is internal not external and in my religion this is called Brahm Giyani i.e. reaching the 12^th chamber of self-development.COMMUNICATION

Before we discuss communication, let’s understand the difference between speaking and communicating.

Dalai Lama has well said: When a person speaks, he is speaking his/her mind and same information is repeated time and again. But when listening is practiced, new knowledge, new information is gained.

In speaking we tell our mind and listening we try to gain what the speaker wants to convey. Confusion, aggression, arrogance, arguments are the major drawbacks of speaking.

There is never a generation gap. There is always a communication gap.

Communication involves 6 steps to complete a communication in its entirety.

1.   Sender- the person who has an idea or wants to convey.

2.   Coding- giving a shape to the idea or the information.

3.   Medium- Use of medium for transmitting the idea i.e. words, phone, letter, fax, email, pager or pigeons, drums etc.

4.   Receiver- the person who receives the idea, instructions or communication.

5.   Decoding—Interpretation of the idea, instructions or communication. 

6.   Action/Feedback/Storage- Action taken. Action taken can be feedback, real action taken or the storage of the message conveyed like the speech by Prime Minister or President of India.

Example: I need a cup of tea. Idea comes to the mind. Now how the process of communication starts.

I= Sender of the message.

     Feeling of having a cup of tea is “idea”

“Madam, please make a cup of tea and give it to me.”  Coding of the feeling.

Spoken words have been used and hence that is medium. I can also use phone or non-verbal communication by just a sign with fingers that I need a cup of tea.

Madam hears the message. She is the receiver.

She listens to my instruction/request. After some time she says: Wait for 5 minutes. This is decoding.

After 5 minutes, she comes and hands over the cup of tea. This is action.

Communication is complete.

But after 5 minutes, she comes and says: No. No tea can be made as there is no sugar in the bowl. This is feedback.

Communication is incomplete as the action is incomplete.   I will go and buy sugar and after buying sugar I will come back and then a cup of tea will be made.

Another example from Business:

 

Decoding

Receiver

Medium

Coding

Sender

BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION:  Major barriers to communication.

-Physical Barriers

-Age Barriers

-Education Barriers

- Cultural differences.

- Gender differences.

- Ethnic differences

- Health

- Medium

etc

NOBODY CARES HOW MUCH YOU KNOW

UNTIL HE KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU CARE.

Small minds talk about people.      (An island)

Average minds talk about events   (A sea)

Big minds talk about ideas.            (An ocean)

Ideas benefit the world i.e. humanity and the creation at large.

Journey from Small to Big is a self-journey where wh-family(what, why, where, who, when) questions are answered by the self not by others.

This journey is internal not external and in my religion this is called Brahm Giyani i.e. reaching the 12^th chamber of self-development.COMMUNICATION

Before we discuss communication, let’s understand the difference between speaking and communicating.

Dalai Lama has well said: When a person speaks, he is speaking his/her mind and same information is repeated time and again. But when listening is practiced, new knowledge, new information is gained.

In speaking we tell our mind and listening we try to gain what the speaker wants to convey. Confusion, aggression, arrogance, arguments are the major drawbacks of speaking.

There is never a generation gap. There is always a communication gap.

Communication involves 6 steps to complete a communication in its entirety.

1.   Sender- the person who has an idea or wants to convey.

2.   Coding- giving a shape to the idea or the information.

3.   Medium- Use of medium for transmitting the idea i.e. words, phone, letter, fax, email, pager or pigeons, drums etc.

4.   Receiver- the person who receives the idea, instructions or communication.

5.   Decoding—Interpretation of the idea, instructions or communication. 

6.   Action/Feedback/Storage- Action taken. Action taken can be feedback, real action taken or the storage of the message conveyed like the speech by Prime Minister or President of India.

Example: I need a cup of tea. Idea comes to the mind. Now how the process of communication starts.

I= Sender of the message.

     Feeling of having a cup of tea is “idea”

“Madam, please make a cup of tea and give it to me.”  Coding of the feeling.

Spoken words have been used and hence that is medium. I can also use phone or non-verbal communication by just a sign with fingers that I need a cup of tea.

Madam hears the message. She is the receiver.

She listens to my instruction/request. After some time she says: Wait for 5 minutes. This is decoding.

After 5 minutes, she comes and hands over the cup of tea. This is action.

Communication is complete.

But after 5 minutes, she comes and says: No. No tea can be made as there is no sugar in the bowl. This is feedback.

Communication is incomplete as the action is incomplete.   I will go and buy sugar and after buying sugar I will come back and then a cup of tea will be made.

Another example from Business:

 

Decoding

Receiver

Medium

Coding

Sender

BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION:  Major barriers to communication.

-Physical Barriers

-Age Barriers

-Education Barriers

- Cultural differences.

- Gender differences.

- Ethnic differences

- Health

- Medium

etc

NOBODY CARES HOW MUCH YOU KNOW

UNTIL HE KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU CARE.

Small minds talk about people.      (An island)

Average minds talk about events   (A sea)

Big minds talk about ideas.            (An ocean)

Ideas benefit the world i.e. humanity and the creation at large.

Journey from Small to Big is a self-journey where wh-family(what, why, where, who, when) questions are answered by the self not by others.

This journey is internal not external and in my religion this is called Brahm Giyani i.e. reaching the 12^th chamber of self-development.

LETTER FRAMOM ABRAHAM LINCOLN TO HIS SON'S HEADMASTER

Altered version of

 LETTER FROM ABRAHAM LINCOLN TO HIS SON’S TEACHER

 for easy understanding.       

My son starts school today. It is all going to be strange and new to him for a while and I wish you would treat him gently. It is an adventure that might take him across continents.

All adventures that probably include wars, tragedy and sorrow.

To live this life will require faith, love and courage.

So, dear Teacher, will you please take him by his hand and teach him the things he will have to know, teaching him – but gently, if you can.

Teach him that for every enemy, there is a friend. He will have to know that all men are not just, that all men are not true.

But teach him also that for every scoundrel, there is a hero and that for every crooked politician, there is a dedicated leader.

Teach him if you can that 10 cents earned is of far more value than a dollar found.

Teach him in   school, teacher, it is far more honourable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to learn how to gracefully lose and enjoy winning when does win.

Teach him to be gentle with gentle people, tough with tough people.

Steer him away from envy if you can and teach him the secret of quiet laughter.

Teach him if you can  - how to laugh when he is sad.

Teach him there is no shame in tears.

Teach him there can be glory in failure and despair in success.

Teach him to scoff at cynics.

Teach him if you can the wonders of the books, but also give time to ponder the extreme mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hill.

Teach him to listen to every one, but teach him also to filter all that he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

Teach him to sell his talents and brains to highest bidder but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul.

Let him have the courage to be impatient, let him have the patience to be brave. Teach him to have sublime faith in himself, because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind, in God.

This is a big order, teacher. But see what best you can do. He is such a nice little boy and he is my son.

Attention reader:

If you have a little pretty daughter to send to school, please replace the word son to my little butterfly.  I call my daughter butterfly.


Source: http://www.citehr.com/33972-letter-abraham-lincoln-his-son-s-teacher-2.html

LETTER TO A TEACHER

Abrahm Lincoln’s letter

 to his son’s teacher.

He will have to learn, I know,

that all men are not just,

all men are not true,

But teach him also that

for every scoundrel there is a hero,

that for every selfish politician,

there is a dedicated leader…..

Teach him for every enemy there is a friend.

Teach him if you can that

10 cents earned is of far more value

than a dollar found.

Steer him away from envy,

if you can,

teach him the secret of

quiet laughter.

Let him learn early that

the bullies are easiest to lick…..

Teach him, if you can

the wonder of books……..

But also give him quiet time

to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky,

 bees in the sun,

and flowers on a green hillside.

In the school teach him,

it is far honourabale to fail

than to cheat…….

Teach him to have faith

in his own ideas,

even if everyone tells him

they are wrong………

Teach him to be gentle

with gentle people

and tough with the tough

Try to give my son

the strength not to follow the crowd

when everyone is getting on the band wagon……

Teach him to listen to all men………

but teach him also to filter

all he hears on a screen of truth

and take only the good

that comes through.

Teach him, if you can

how to laugh when he is sad….

Teach him there is no shame in tears,

Teach him to scoff at cynics

and to beware of too much sweetness.

Teach him to sell his brawn and

brain to the highest bidders

but never to put a price-tag

on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears

 to howling mob

and to stand and fight

if he thinks he’s right.

Treat him gently,

but do not cuddle him,

because only test of fire

makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage

to be impatient…….

Let him have the patience to be brave

Teach him always to have

sublime faith in himself,

because only then he will have

sublime faith in mankind

This is a big order,

but  see what you can do……

He is such a fine fellow

my son!

Source: http://searchnread.blogspot.in/2009/04/abraham-lincolns-world-famous-letter-to.html

Wisdom

Knowledge is the process of piling the facts. 

Wisdom lies in their simplification.

Wisdom comes with the passage to time.

STRESS BUSTER

STRESS BUSTER

Are all the

       relationships

worth keeping?

           Renee Singh*

People in our lives can be can be a great source of comfort but also sometimes they can be a significant cause of stress.

Stress relief is very important for our physical and emotional well being. We understand this and we all realize the value of a good relationship.

Having a happy relationship is a great stress reliever, conversely a conflicted relationship can bring a great deal of stress.

Relationship research shows that there is a very important impact that relationships have on our health, well being and stress levels.

Relationships conflict can negatively affect your health in several ways.

Research has also shown us that stable negative social exchanges are significantly

associated with lower self rated health, greater functional limitations and a higher number of health conditions.

Impact on immunity

Stress dampens the immune system. Ongoing stress can really take a toll on your health and needs immediate attention.

Family conflict

This is not uncommon. The most important relationships in our lives are within our family and are perhaps the greatest cause of our major stress.

I feel this not basically due to a lack of love but due to a lack of comfort in dealing with conflict among family members, whether it is open conflict over the dinner table or a one to one argument.

Ambivalent friendships

These are relationships where interactions are sometimes negative and hostile and sometimes positive and supportive.

These have clear negative impact on health, affect blood pressure, contribute to heart disease and many other co-related conditions.

It is in your best interest to minimize and eliminate negative relationships in your life.

Make a plan to minimize stress of ambivalent relationships by dealing with stress in these two steps.

Step One

Make a list of all the friendships in your life. Include all the people you can think of as friends, whether you meet them sometimes or regularly. Include your romantic partners whether they are in

your life now or they were there earlier or may be likely to come back.

Step two

Circle the name of friends or people in your life who are positive, those who support you when you are down and share your joy when good things happen to you. For others, evaluate your friendships and other relationships genuinely to see if they are beneficial to you or detrimental.

Ask yourself?

·    Is this relationship worth the work you putting into it?

·    Am I holding on to the relationship because of habit?

·    Would I want to be with this person if we met today?

·    Does the person make me feel good about myself?

·    Am I uncomfortable with the person?

·    Do I like who I am when I am with that person?

·    Do we bring out the best in each other?

·    How deeply can I trust this person?

·    Do we have common interests?

·    Am I receiving as much as I am giving to this relationship?

·    Does this relationship enrich my life?

Once you answer these questions if gives you a clearer picture of whether the relationship is positive or negative for you.

Check yourself and learn to let go?

RESTRUCTURE YOUR THOUGHTS

Our habitual thought patterns shape what we get angry about.

Change your thoughts in a way to attack negative thoughts to change them to positive.

LET GO TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

At some point accept that some relationships stress you continually. Recognize these people and keep them at a safe distance. Stay on with your healthy relationships.

(*Singh is a Chandigarh based Psychotherapist)

Source: The Tribune 26^th March, 2012.

SUCCESS

LAW OF SUCCESS

          BY Vasudha Gupta

Saurabh Garg, 25, a young lawyer practicing in the Supreme Court, was invited to the Bar of England and Wales in October 2011.

Saurabh was invited to the society of the Inner Temple, which has notable alumni, including MK Gandhi and Jawahar Lal Nehru, to its credit.

This young lad, who has his own law firm, has studied Intellectual Property Law in the London School of Economics. In his endeavour to understand the legal system, Saurabh coordinated the ULIS Law and Technology Seminar as chief

 coordinator and represented the university at Criminal Law Forum, Bhopal.

Motivational factor.

I have always aimed to do something for my nation. I wanted to come back to India to open an organization that works on issues like illiteracy, poverty and population. I want to improve myself everyday. For me, learning something new everyday is the key.

Feathers in the cap

I received the Best Student Advocate award an International Moot Court competition in 2008. I have written several research papers that have been published in prestigious journals. I was the only India to study at the Bar in England and secure an internship with the International Bar Association, London.

In my pursuit to specialize in mediation, I underwent training to be an accredited mediator.

Strengths and weaknesses

I am focused, optimistic and a confident person.  I think my weakness is that I get aggressive and impatient when it is comes to getting work done.

Flipside of being an achiever

It can lead to have fewer friends. If a person during an interaction with his friends tries not to make the other person insecure, then he can keep the friendship going. The problem only comes when the other person feels that he is being looked down upon.

People tend to be become envious, judgmental and start expecting a lot from you.

Words of Wisdom

My sincere advice is to follow you heart in whatever you want to do in life. One may face opposition from the people around but they’ll be fine once they see you happy. Having said that, I believe that it’s not aptitude but attitude that determines the altitude.

 Source: The Tribune 22^nd March, 2012.